Remeber how I told you that Jack was in the navy as a recruiter. Yeah so I get a phone call telling me some bullshit on how he has to go to this bar/grill to talk about work shit with the bosses. Now I would tell you what they are really called but you wouldn't understand anyways. It WAS supposed to be a lovely night with a home cooked meal for him and his BFF, only because BFF said his chicken and dumplings was better......HAW!!!! You can't fuck with Rachel Ray's 30 minute meals bitches. SHHHHH.. (our little secret) I slaved over the stove heehee :P for 30 minutes and waiting for Jack to come home....waiting for ever and calling with no answer. Finally I get a call he is on his way home. Then BFF calls to make sure I made it. DUH!! you think I am not going to execpt a challenge. He asked where Jack was, the conversation went on and he ended up coming over. He pulls up with 6 beers in a plastic bag and I pointed him towards the stove, He sits down and NEVER said anything right then he gets up and then comes back, still nothing. Only until I say WELL, he like YEP is good, so good I got a second bowl. After stuffing his face he asks me to go out front with him while he smokes a vig, Starts to tell me what happen at work today and how he is the shit and all of a sudden "THEY" arrive. Funny shit is 30 seconds before they got here, BFF was saying watch them talk shit because I am over here without Jack, sure enough the drunkest one jumps out of the car says "What the fuck is going on" OH SHIT you caught us we were fucking in the FRONT YARD. DumbAss..
Drunkest decide's to come over to BFF, starts to take his hat off, then grabs his beer out of his hand and then drinks it ALL, then hands it back to him, starts to come to me, It went like this:
Me: DOn't fucking come near me!
Drunkest: WHY
Me: your fucked up
Drunkest: I got your back girl (as he sits on my lap)
Me:Are you fucking kidding me!
Drunkest: What?
Me: your not the lightest..
Drunkest: I ain't that damn heavy only 160
Me: I am sitting in a cheap ass chair get the fuck off or its going to break
Drunkest: your so warm and dam your tits are big and soft
Me: yeah I know there nice get the fuck off
Drunkest:SHHHHHHHHH
As I sit there staring at Jack to get this POS (piece of shit) off me I realized I have to get him off so I push him off and look at BFF like WHAT THE FUCK. At this time he is running around being an asshole to everyone and making me laugh my ass off, only because he is making an ass of himself. Then it turns annoying and I start getting pissed off. So the other boss that came finally said its time to go, so now we are trying to get this tool into the car and the other boss says "he staying here right" HELL NO I told him get your ass in the car now you are not staying here and I resured the other guy he is NOT. I can't stand when people are so drunk they act stupid, I see red and get so pissed. Even if your my Jack!!
No comments:
Post a Comment