over it....

I just want it to be over already...it sucks with him being gone. Monster misses him dearly. She is so used to calling her daddy on the phone that he has no access to a phone and the emails are down. Well today I took Jacks mother to Walmart and I got a red light ticket. The same ticket Jack just got two weeks ago. I bought clothes for the monster and dog food, stocking stuffers, new stockings and lights. Bricks for the dog house. Hopefully that works for their blanket not to get all wet. I bought Jack this grilling book he wanted. Got him almond roca, and came home... kids came home from school, driving me crazy........ Jacks mother is cursed........

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really frustrated....

So Jack came home last night until midnight. It was nice but it was like he wasn't there. All he talked about was work. Then dealing with one of his workers. Then we get a phone call at my house at 9:30pm. It's everyone he works with drunk and telling him to leave his family and get drunk with them. Now he never left to go but it was like everyone had to say a word to him. Even the girls. Like REALLY, that kinda upset me. Why the fuck do you need to get on the phone and shit. Apparently the are all that comfortable with each other after only a month. Weird to me. I mean seriously would you get on the phone drunk to your boss and tell him to get his ass to the bar. Not no but HELL NO!!! Then he promised me in the morning he would call the auto repair shop to tell him we aren't going to give him $500 for a new battery and to clean the throttle body. So of course I can't get a hold of him and he never called. So I and the Guy was a total douche bag. He charged me full price for the looking at my car fucking tool. Oh and I called a taxi to bring me to the auto repair shop and after an hour and a half of standing in 30 degree weather freezing my ass off. My neighbor said she would give me a ride. So thankful..... gave her ten bucks well worth it. Then from everything happening I am a total bitch to Jack. Ugh.... I feel so bad beside this shit is hard. He lives with these people and now we are on the back burner. I am so used to being so close to him that I will definitely admit I am jealous....hurt and lonely......

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if it's not one thing...

So today I decided to go to the store and after shock and I leave I go to start my car. Mind you it's the only car I have now because my truck is broken. So it starts then dies. So this goes on for a good 10 minutes. So hopeless I try to call everyone I know to help. AND no one answers. SO I ask my mom "please get me home, all I want to do is go home". IT started. So now I am upset because now I am going to have to get a car payment. Sucks... I just payed my other car off. UGH...... makes me miss Jack even more. Don't know how I am going to make it with out him but as time goes on I will get stronger... it just hurts inside knowing you will be alone with out your husband for a year and have no one........

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Trying to be strong

So today was a hard day... my husband is gone and I have an annoying mother in law, that gets under my skin. I have a broken truck, that needs a new engine. I want a new car but I don't want the car payment's... I'm sad because I will not see my husband for a year..it sucks knowing you will be alone.. away from family.... I did get a lot done today. I mailed off my niece's and nephew's Xmas presents, that was a killing. Then I decided to shop my depression away, buying the girls clothes and 2 more gifts.. I paid Trent aka dickhead his money so now he will never call.. whatever... so yeah I am going to shower and lay here in bed and try to sleep

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